Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Time Travel



As I sit trying to look busy, my mind wanders. I often do this especially after finishing and preparing all my lessons for the next day. N o one has ever succeeded in building a time machine for quite some time now. I don't get in a spaceship and travel a million light years nor do I lie in a capsule and wake up in a different time. I just stare at blank and my journey begins.

I find myself in a fantasy land filled with happy and joyous memories. These are circumstances that probably made my childhood days worth living and worth remembering. I see myself playing in kindergarten play ground together with my playmates from different grade levels. I was never picked up in school early,I'm one of those few kids who are picked up either late or very late. Most of the time it's very late. I'd be in the swing, slide see-saw and sometimes the merry go round. I never liked the merry go round. It makes nauseous. Sometimes when nobody is around to play with anymore I just sit and wait for a familiar face to show up. And surely when my Mom or Dad shows up I'd be as fast as Flash running towards them with a hug coming. I'd be the happiest boy.

There are times that I find myself in my grannies care. I usually cry my heart out so that my Mom will let me stay in my grannies house. There were times that I got sick in my grannies' house, so sick that they'd give me an Aspilet and put some hot towel on my forehead and call my father while at it. And every time I hear my parents voice almost by the door it gives me a sigh of relief, nothing compares to a soft tender touch and nice loving voices from a family.

Then I find myself getting into a brawl with my brothers. We were in a brawl together often when we were in grade school. I have no idea why but we find ourselves throwing and receiving punches. It's not as pleasant as being consistently in honor roll but those brawls and fights drew us closer to each other and thus engraving in our hearts and minds the real meaning of being siblings and being brothers.

I also find myself courting a girl for the first time. It was not as romantic as expected but it surely paved way for me to be a ladies man. I learned how it's like to be in the best and worst of circumstances. I've had proud and embarrassing moments together. It's a rock n roll journey with romance and growing up.

I'm also in awe looking at myself making so many friends and building different levels of friendships. It's extraordinary. I have had various groups spending my time with when I was growing up. Different friends for different situations. There was one friend though who went all the way with me until I tied the knot. Actually, he's still rolling with me until now. Maybe not physically but I'm sure in spirit he is. I keep his spirit alive as I am confident that he is keeping mine as well. Indeed true friends last for more than a lifetime.

Another very important friend that I happened to chat with for the past few weeks is also doing very well. I can still recall our good old high school days,we did a lot of school politics maneuvering and also accomplished a lot of projects when we were in our Jr. and Sr. year. We ended up being elected to the top 2 spots of our Alumni batch officers . We had a run I believe and now we running a different kind of race. We are facing uncertain foes and invisible obstacles but we are positive that we will conquer our fears now the way we conquered our fears after high school. We turned out ok and will turn out aright in time.

I have so many travels I wanna narrate, but as always being in this strange land with bizarre culture I'm pressed for time. Till the next time travel,see you!

Raindrops


As I sit inside the teacher's room waiting for the raindrops to hit the ground, it struck me. I am in a bit of a pickle, these things (raindrops and rainyseason) used to give me some sort of release and inspiration towards life. It gives me achance to reflect and recollect thoughts and strings of happy happy moments as well as sad and lonely times. It is indeed therapeutical and medical in a way.

Now, I just stare at them, just a blank empty stare. I see nothing but wet trees and wet grounds. I don't think it can get any better than this. I feel like I'm already going with the flow. I once had a class in my sophomore days in high school that talked about some or most of the caterpillars going with the flow. It means just going at it without any question or remorse. You just have to do it,you just have to act your age, be the person that people around you expects you to be. I have never been so confused in my life, so suppressed and so conformed. I'm even learning a new language not to mention new gestures and habits. Making matters worse, I find myself asking " is this the end of me? ", the end of Iceman,Chris rock, The Mystery Man. In life ending one's means ending passion means ending every piece and part of you.

Going back to the rain, I want and I long to find myself again staring at those raindrops with the happiest and the most colorful of thoughts, being able to find release and inspiration with every drop that falls from the dark clouds on a gloomy day.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Just a thought!


I was browsing my " Little Prince " book out of boredom when I read the dedication part of Leon Werth. My mind traveled like an intergalactic space wagon going back 15 years ago. The dedication is all about the child we once were and it gave me a moment to recollect all my childhood memories, I treasure all these memories, after all what we are today is a product of who we were before.

Interesting how time flies, I don't even notice. I've been away for more than a year now. The time spent now and the spent 15 years ago are so much different from each other. When I was in elementary and high school time don't fly it walks. I thought during those days that time being slow is such a bad thing. I was in a rush to grow up and be an adult. I always thought that being an adult gives you the privilege of doing whatever you want and whenever you want it. Many years later I learned the hard way that everything I had in mind about adults was and is totally on the contrary. The pressures and complexity of life imprisons an individual to act according his environment and no longer from his convictions. This totally diverts your journey towards the path you really wanted to take when you were a child. You are no longer yourself but a conformed individual, just one of the many faces you see on the streets everyday.

As we grow older we find ourselves losing everything we once had and were. When were little children, we can be many things. If you draw a lot, you're an artist. If you sing a lot, you're a singer. If you reason a lot, you're a lawyer and so on and on and on. Little by little we lose all these great possibilities and succumb to the mediocrities and sub standards life has to offer. And we hear one of the saddest phrases ever uttered in the world coming straight from our mouth "that's how it is" .

But is it really how it is? Can life be this cruel or is it a matter of choice and decision?

The answer to that my friend, I leave to you.

A POEM!


Cherry tree branches bend and sway,
as the wind blew day by day.
Clueless mind always wander,
as I am left with nothing to ponder.

Living in a strange land
that seem so sweet,
but all I bear is bittersweet.
Others think my dreams came true
but all my dreams just left and flew.

A PROMISE TO ONESELF!




I wanted to be many things, I wanted to do many things and I wanted to have many things.Being a child gives you the strength and passion to believe all these things.I have doubts about things but I never doubted myself. I always believed in me, my family, and most of all my God. The word impossible never crossed my mind, not until I started being an adult.

Now, I don't know if I can go back to being a child again. I'm not sure if I can be the same person I once was when I was a child. I never listened to reasons as a child, I just go where my passion takes me. I just take what my passion can provide. It was thrilling, breathtaking and extremely fun. It's what I called life, It's what I had.

If in time I find myself again, I promise myself not to make the mistake. If I ever get to catch the right person in the mirror I promise not to fall into the trap again. I promise to be myself and not wanting to live somebody else life again.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Iceman's Landslide!



I took my love and I took it down
I climbed a mountain and I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well the landslide brought me down

Oh, mirror in the sky
What is love
Can the child within my heart rise above
Can I sail thru the changing ocean tides
Can I handle the seasons of my life

Well, I've been afraid of changing 'cause I built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Children get older
I'm getting older too
Well...

Well, I've been afraid of changing 'cause I built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Children get older
I'm getting older, too
Well I'm getting older too

So, take this love and take it down
Year and if you climb a mountain and ya turn around
And if you see my reflection in the snow-covered hills
Well the landslide brought me down
And if you see my reflection in the snow-covered hills
Well maybe
Well maybe
Well maybe the landslide will bring you down



Landslide - Dixie Chicks
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